How to gain control of your feelings

Miniseries about negative feelings - Part 5: Epilogue

Last week I wrote about fear, guilt and shame and my opinion about these feelings, namely that apart from their function as whistleblowers, they are largely useless and lead to suffering and isolation instead of healing and connection. The question now is how to control emotions. Many will think that this is not possible and I can understand and respect that position. Usually, it is not successful to tell someone who is angry that he or she should not be angry or tell a frightened child that there is no need to be afraid. A simple "don't be sad" does not help me when I'm sad.

Don't leave your thoughts unattended

For me, our attitude is, among other things, also the summary of our elementary beliefs, our inner evaluation construct and thus our thoughts about a certain situation. An emerging problem can be perceived as something terrible, as well as a joyful excitement that arises from the desire to master another challenge of life. This depends on how the situation is experienced and how I assess this experience against the background of my attitude and think about it accordingly. 

Here is a quote from life coach and author Tony Robbins from the Netflix documentary "I am not your Guru!": "Problems are what make us grow, Problems are what sculpt our soul. Problems are what make us become more. If we can realize that life is always happening for us not to us - game over: Alle the suffering disappears. Your problem is your gift. It plays the role it is meant to play. If it weren’t there that would be tragic."

Time for new beliefs

I believe that life is not justified by fear, shame and guilt, but by making trust, love and hope your guiding principle. Seen in this way, the problems that most people have are only small welcome hurdles on the way to a fulfilled life and the really big problems are elementary experiences that make us grow. We will be able to look back with pride on these at the end of our lives. And if we do not accept these crises positively, we will look back with regret.

What do you think? Let me know!

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