how to listen properly

„Communication", according to the factual definition, is often described as the "exchange or transmission of information". For me, this is not conclusive at all, or at least not entirely complete. There is a deeper level of perception which is neglected here, but which ensures the actual effectiveness of communication. This is an overall problem that is neither limited to the professional context nor can it be reduced to private conversations. It has more to do with how much you are occupied with yourself during a conversation, especially when the other person is speaking. 

Emphatic listening creates connections

I sometimes find myself busy in my head formulating an answer while the other person is still talking. Of course, I could argue that this keeps the conversation flowing and contributes to a better understanding. In reality, this is the communication-killer par excellence. Contrary to the definition of communication mentioned above, I believe that the actual communication arises when you are "with" your interlocutor during the conversation. 

This is easier said than done because real attention requires all our senses. At the moment, I like the concept of emphatic listening best, because it implies compassion for the other person. Especially in the workplace, where it often seems like feelings are almost esoteric, the real empathy is sometimes neglected. The benefit of empathetic listening is that the small details that help you to recognize real concerns become visible and noticeable. This creates understanding and depth, which brings the quality of the conversation to a higher level.

Listen-to-listen instead of listen-to-answer

What we all need to do, in my opinion, is to be fully involved in a conversation and really care about what the other person is actually saying. At that moment, it doesn't matter what we have to say, what we know, what we want, what's next on our scheduler or whatever is going on in our minds. It's about listening empathically and not about the possible responses. Please try this out once in a while. I am sure that this will lead to more connection and that the other person feels it. Anyone who can communicate in this way will notice how their relationships improve dramatically in a short period of time. 

What do you think? Let me know!

Sign up for more exclusive content, methods, and videos.